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Goodbye Machanayim House. Goodbye Loft. Father in Your hands.
Good morning everyone,
Today marks the end of a chapter as the last of the belongings are being picked up. When it all began, I envisioned growth and believed that the ministry God had entrusted to us would flourish. However, His plans were different. The boot camp house was not meant for others, but for Yochanan and me. Everything in that house has been examinedand thrown over, and nothing was left untouched.
In every aspect of my life, I saw His hand moving, refining, cleansing, lifting, and focusing on different things.
The dramatic conclusion came when we had to leave abruptly, which ushered in a period of almost 2.5 years of being locked in a room with only a bed and a chair.
I knew from the BEGINNING in the Machanayim house that G-d would take us to another place, but no one believed it. During constant prayer, someone repeatedly called it “my lack of faith.”
How I wished at that moment, I had been wrong!
Despite everything, over the years, fruit has been borne. We have had the privilege of praying with people, teaching via video and audio, training aspiring leaders, producing radio and video content, and giving speeches, both nationally and internationally.
The 2.5 years we spent in the room in Badnieuweschans were on the one hand the loneliest adventure I have ever experienced. But on the other hand, it turned out to be the most intimate and beautiful journey with G-d. I had no one and nothing to rely on except Him.
I felt His presence so deeply and powerfully that words cannot adequately describe it. There was no one left, only Him and me. And then there was Klarine, who, without knowing anything, confirmed things.
The Torah portions on Shabbat were an unprecedented highlight where G-d was so deeply present.
It was also the time that Yochanan was allowed to find a house for us (which I did not know), because I was allowed to do nothing other than sit at HIS feet in simple trust. And then suddenly, at the most impossible moment, Yochanan's voice, after the ping on his cell phone, "WE HAVE A HOUSE"
The impossible made possible by the G-d of Avraham Yitzchak and Yaakov. IMPOSSIBLE ON ALL FRONTS.
1. The great housing shortage in our country.
2. He almost never looked at the website of the housing association.
3. Responded last 'at the eleventh hour', speaking in old-fashioned terms.
But he was number 1 and if we said yes, we had the house.
My story, however, continued despite everything. Dying deeper and deeper to myself. On all fronts.
My clothes, which I had carefully hung up in the attic of the Machanayim House, so that I could wear them when I was allowed to stand again, did not come back. Instead, I received boxes of black shirts and things that I do not know and would never wear. Including things that have traces of stains and are clearly old.
A bag of personal photos and secrets of the heart that I had written down, and that G-d gave me back out of nowhere, the day I went to storage, has mysteriously disappeared.
I have to be honest, I struggle with it. Why does this have to happen now? Why? But after reading countless Jewish studies and drinking the term that kept coming up, "walking the long road", I have gone back to HIM who knows everything and does everything with a deeper purpose.
I want HIM and HIM alone. And I have prayed that. HIS hand is in this. Not to tease, not to punish, but to be able to lean on HIM as my Beloved. In complete trust, not to ask the how and why...
To end as I began; today is the day. The last items are being picked up and with that a chapter is closed.
When it all started, I had the idea that there would be growth and that the ministry that G-d gave would flourish.
But He had very different plans. "Father, into Your hands I commend my spirit." May Your will be done.
But that is exactly what HE calls growth!!!
I pray for a rich blessing for all of you. He already knows the next chapter, for each of us. In HIM we are and remain connected.
Your sister D'Vorah Pnina Meijer.
Hanneke wrote me: " Even before you sent this I received Song of Songs 7 for you!"
97 (7:10) And the roof of thy mouth like the best yayin of dodi (my beloved), that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.
107 (7:11) I am my beloved’s, and to me goeth forth his teshukah (desire).
117 (7:12) Come, dodi (my beloved), let us go forth into the sadeh; let us lodge in the villages.
127 (7:13) Let us get up early to the kramim (vineyards); let us see if the gefen budded, whether the tender grape appears, and the pomegranates bloom; there will I give thee my love.
137 (7:14) The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our doors are all manner of pleasant fruits, chadashim (new ones) and yeshanim (old ones), which I have stored up and kept for thee, O dodi (my beloved).
10 I am my beloved, and his affection is to me.
11 Come, my love! Let us go out into the fields, let us spend the night in the villages.
12 Let us get up early to the vineyards, let us see if the vine is blooming, if the young grapes are opening, if the pomegranate trees are budding; there I will give you my excellent love.
13 The dudaim give smell, and at our doors are all kinds of noble fruits, new and old; O my Dear! I have laid it up for you.
Yochanan just called me, that he has arrived at the storeouse.
"On the way I was suddenly enveloped in a thick mist. Which suddenly came to an end by a bright sun."
This is prophetic. We have been invisible to the eyes of humanity, but NOW HIS light rises upon us again!
