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The Journey. Written November 11th 2022
As I've shared before, I discovered my Jewish roots because G-d spoke to me about what He was going to do in my life.
He told me, right after my sudden healing of cancer, - while I was already been on my deathbed, - that I would find a Jewish graveyard, and then I would met someone who had something to do with Jewish cemetaries. "And then you will see what the "Great I Am" is going to do in your life!" He said.
Long story short, everything happened exactly as HE had spoken, to end up in a Synagogue, to which we were invited by the man who had something to do with Jewish cemeteries.
The beginning of a journey that ended with my Hebrew name that has been officially on my identity card since the month of October 2022.
Again Hatred
Today, more than ever, hatred flares up again.
And I suddenly thought of my mom, -who, which I later found out- went through bad things during the second world war.
It is still unclear to me, and somehow not, whether she and my father really didn't know being Jewish. - I found evidence of forced conversions, in the family tree. And recently I found how one of my aunts, used here name a little differently then it was original given to her at birth. Juke was in real Judigje which means Descendant of Judea. -
Memories I Have
For example, there was a painting on the window of the connecting door between the two living rooms, which, in retrospect, was a free expression of the Star of David.
And the flowers that my abba always brought with him, for Saturday Shabbes And my Bubbe Grandma who also spoke Yiddish.
I remember the family tree research , and how a letter came later, which was thrown in small pieces in the well behind the house.
Anyway, the memories of that terrible war were in my Mamme's blood.
She always cleaned, because we had to show that we were clean and tidy.
The memory of that day when my mother, with fear in her eyes, and a pale face, picked me up and stood with me in front of the mirror, while a plane roared overhead. That white face, those intensely dark eyes of fear and her whispering "Not again, not again" have been, and will be a companion in my mind, for as long as I live.
Were we not seen as rats during the war? Dirty, unsanitary, "untermenschen".
Why all that cleaning? Why did she feel the urge to prove we were clean?
Hate destroys so much. Now that I am an adult myself, lost my parents around my thirties, and now have no family at all, the memories come back, but I can now also look at things with different, or adult eyes.
Were we not seen as rats during the war? Dirty, unsanitary, "untermenschen".
Why all that cleaning? Why did she feel the urge to prove we were clean?
And then those three famous words that she sometimes uttered in almost awe-inspiring pain or fits of rage, which I will not write here. But they were intensely mean, harsh words spoken about her during the Second World War. And whatever else happened, she did not talk about, she took it with her to her grave.
That was the only thing she said to me about it. I can't talk about it, I'll take it to my grave, like a deeply kept secret. Years later I received a message on Facebook from someone (I didn't even know her) who wrote me that G-d had shown her that my mother experienced something horrible during the Second World War.
Or, if we were watching a war movie, around the time of the World War II commemoration, she always told me, "They were such beasts, what they did, and the unbelievable hatred they had."
Her eyes spoke volumes, she had jet-black hair, like the rest of the siblings , but she was the only one who had steel-blue eyes.
But at such times they were almost black and there was a glimmer of fear in them that I have never seen in anyone's eyes before.
Hatred Again
The hatred flares up again. Sometimes almost thoughtlessly, we abuse the 2nd world war in our parties, for example Halloween in America, where recently Nazi Uniforms were worn.
Even among the colored person, who knows all too well, especially in America, how cruel people can be to the underdog, anti-semitic statements are skyrocketing.
Still, just before Shabbes, I want to make an appeal to everyone who reads this.
Blessed are the peacemakers! You don't necessarily have to walk around with flags and signboards and protest banners, to make it clear you are against antisemitism. But opening your mouth to share the truth, anyone can do that!
Are we uber-humans? No! Are we not making mistakes? Yes!
Is every Jew good? Of course not. We are just like other people.
What makes us different is that the G-d of Avraham Yitzchak and Ya'akov has created us, for himself.
A Holy Nation a - set apart people- to which He is sharing HIS land, asking from us to take good care of it, to honor HIS Name!
To shine HIS light and radiate it to all Nations.
Pray for us, join us in the battle, to point out about the danger of anti-Semitism!
I have seen with my own eyes what hate can do in a human brain.
Leaving someone behind, who is filled with scary thoughts, being trapped in fobias, and trapped in a protocol of never-extinguished memories.
I'm going to conclude with: Gut Shabbes Shabbat SHALOM!
May His peace be upon us and in our homes. May HIS love touches our hearts to give us peace again, so that we can start the new week with a fresh start.
THIS LAND IS MINE Leviticus 25: 23 “‘The land is not to be sold in perpetuity, because the land belongs to me — you are only foreigners and temporary residents with me. 23 HaAretz shall not be sold permanently: for HaAretz is Mine, for ye are gerim and toshavim with Me.
~~ ♦🐝D'Vorah Pnina🐝♦ (דבורה) Meijer